is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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