Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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