But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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