I just cut my nipple shaving
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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