Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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