This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
