his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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