Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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