i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize