I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
