you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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