I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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