I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
