that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
