I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
