you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
