did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
