big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
