What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
