He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
