im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
