just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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