If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
