..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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