and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
