normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
