So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
