You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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