youre lurking in front of me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize