I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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