That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
