i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
