i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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