She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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