ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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