you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
