i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
