But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
