Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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