We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
