3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
