There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
