I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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