I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
