More tranny stories later!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
