she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
