I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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