OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
