i don't like sucking hair
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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