come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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