The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
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She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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