an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
