I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
