Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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