Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
