I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
