Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
