you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
