wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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