margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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