I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
