I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
