so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
