he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
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I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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