You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
