"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
